


Alone

by TheatrePhantom



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Complicated Relationships, Crying, Daddy Issues, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Issues, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Men Crying, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:08:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25663354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatrePhantom/pseuds/TheatrePhantom
Summary: Din has a strange relationship with nearly everyone in his life. The complications in his relationship with both his father and Zim certainly take a heavy toll on him.
Relationships: Dib & Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib & Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	Alone

Dib would never understand what was going on- he couldn’t. 

Dib the master of psychology, the guy who knew the ins and outs of the human psyche, the man who could psychologically manipulate almost anyone he desired, the person who had learned all he could about how human’s (and other species’) minds worked, was completely and utterly lost. When it came to his own needs, he knew the basics. He knew what to do when he was hungry, thirsty, or cold. He knew what he had to do when he was sad or stressed. He knew what he needed to do when he was lonely. 

Right now, though? He was completely lost. He had no clue what he was supposed to do to remedy this feeling- hell, he didn’t even know  _ what _ he was feeling. 

He has dedicated so much of his time and energy to destroying Zim- to getting in the way of his progress and thwarting every single one of his devious plots. Dib and Zim had had their fair share of violent encounters. Fighting the alien wasn't incredibly uncommon and there had been several occasions over the years of knowing one another where they had drawn blood and left lasting scars. They had belittled one another constantly and had used insulting nicknames so frequently that they felt like second nature. Everything about their relationship was violent and aggressive. They were pinned against one another completely. There was  _ nothing _ good about the alien not the strange relationship they had cultivated over the years. They were  _ not _ friends and Dib was dead-set on destroying Zim.

Despite that, Dib couldn't help but feel conflicted. 

While he and Zim's relationship was far from friendly, there was something about the alien… Perhaps it was the fact that he was one of the only people who believed him and actually  _ listened _ to him when he spoke. Maybe it was because Zim saw him as a competent and worthy foe rather than just some crazy guy he went to school with. Unlike his father, Zim, actually seemed to care about him. 

That was another thing. The fact that Dib's mortal enemy cared about him and paid more attention to him than his own  _ dad _ did. Membrane was rarely home and never took Dib seriously. He constantly belittled Dib's interests and passion for the paranormal. While Zim despised Dib, he at least respected him and his work. He  _ believed _ him. His father didn't give him the same courtesy. 

It was pathetic, honestly. The fact that Dib felt more loved by the person who tried to kill him every day than by the person who had created him. At least to Zim, Dib was someone who was more than just an embarrassing nuisance. 

More than that, Zim was far more present in his life than his actual dad. Membrane was rarely home and, when he was, he was  _ far _ too busy to deal with his "poor insane son". Zim saw him almost every day and went out of his way to be around Dib. 

Dib shouldn't feel like that. After all of the time that he had spent learning about Zim and all of the effort he had put into destroying him, he shouldn't even be  _ considering _ not exposing the alien. They were enemies. Bringing the truth to light would not only make his entire planet safer, but it would prove to  _ everyone  _ that he wasn't crazy. He would finally be able to show everyone that he was smart and serious and that he  _ knew _ what he was doing. He would make his father proud of him. 

But what would he do without Zim? 

Zim was the only person who took him seriously. He spent more time with Dib than anyone else in the human's life. He paid attention to Dib and noticed differences in his behaviours when he was upset or not feeling well. They pushed one another to do better and, while they were constantly at war with one another, Dib couldn't help but see it as something good for him. Zim encouraged him to put forth all of his effort and pursue his passions more than anyone else did. Whatever would he do without him?

Tears stung Dib's eyes, burning uncomfortably behind his eyelids and blurring his peripheral vision. 

What was  _ wrong _ with him. His only friend was the fucking alien he was practically at war with. 

Dib didn't mind having a strange or complicated life, but this was far too much for him to deal with. He just wanted someone in his life who  _ cared _ about him without having an obligation to do so and without having some obligation to fight one another. 

Why did everything have to hurt like this? Why was it that his life and his feelings confused him so. 

Burying his head in his hands, Dib attempted to drown out the rest of the world. Although the action crushed his glasses against his face uncomfortably and undoubtedly smudged he lenses, he needed the false sense of safety that came with the action. He needed to hide himself from the world, if only for a moment. Everything hurt too much to not do so. 

"Dib?" 

Despite the voice being far gentler than it usually was, Dib flinched. 

"Are you… crying?" 

" _ No _ ," Dib hissed, but his voice sounded far more broken and far less certain than he had intended. There was absolutely no conviction in his voice and the slight tremor made it obvious. 

Quietly, Gaz closed the door to her brother's bedroom as she slipped inside, going over to sit down beside him, "What's wrong?"

Dib finally pulled his hands away from his face, though he kept his eyes screwed shut in a weak attempt to ward off the tears. "I don't…"

As he struggled to find the right words, Gaz pulled Dib's crooked glasses away from his face to avoid them falling into an even worse state and wrapped an arm around her brother. 

"I just… I feel like Zim cares about me more than Dad ever has and he's my  _ enemy _ ," Dib's voice caught in his throat as he spoke, but he pushed forward regardless, needing to talk to  _ someone _ about everything, "I've spent all these years doing nothing but trying to expose Zim, but, now… everything's different. I feel like he's the only person who cares about me anymore. I don't know what I'd do without him."

Although he couldn't see her face, Dib knew Gaz was frowning, "Dad  _ does _ love us, Dib… he has a really fucked up way of showing it and he has a long way to go but he  _ does _ care about you. That isn't an excuse for all the shit he's done, but he does."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"I know."

"I just… wish he acted like he did."

"I do too," Gaz shifted, voice sounding more serious, "You deserve to feel loved."

Dib wiped at his tear-stained face, "Thanks…"

"One day, Dad will get his shit together."

"And what if he doesn't?" 

"He will," Gaz said it with an air of finality, "But, if he doesn't, we'll just have to go and find someone or something else to make us feel that. Even if it's some weird, fucked up alien friend."

Dib let out a weak but not insincere chuckle. 

"Seriously, though," Gaz tilted her head, "Even if it takes a while, you're going to fill your life with people who love and respect you. You'll be okay. We both will." 

Dib wrapped an arm around Gaz as well, holding her in a side hug, "Thanks, Gaz… I needed that."

"I could tell. You never cry," her voice held a teased lilt that drew another chuckle out of Dib. 

"Fuck off, I was trying to be nice!" There was no hostility in his voice, though. 

Neither of them really slept, that night. Instead, they sat together in the living room until daybreak, playing video games and occasionally drifting in and out of consciousness. It didn't solve anything, but, at the very least, for a couple of hours, Dib wasn't worried about no one truly caring for him. 


End file.
